6 Ways to Be a Better Parent

Children are like plants - they need water, fresh air, gentle pruning, and room to grow.

Parenting a child is such an amazing gift.  To be able to raise and mold a little being.  To guide and shape a small person.

What an amazing, incredible, EXHAUSTING opportunity.

So how do you keep it up?  How do you mold and shape and love this small person or small people without your own well running dry?  Well, here is the real deal people.  Your well WILL run dry from time to time, because the world isn't perfect.  However, I believe you can cut down on those empty moments by following a few guidelines for yourself.

By finding your times, maximizing those times when you can fill up your own tank.  And cultivating a thankful heart.  And building a support team.  And....well read on.

It is so easy to get caught up in this culture's way of letting us know we are not good enough, smart enough, thin enough.  But to that special little person you ARE enough.  You are the best parent for the little one(s) entrusted to you.  And now comes the big work for you - keeping yourself, your mind, your body, your "tank" healthy for them.

How can you do this?  There are lots of ways, but here are 6 I have settled upon for myself at the stage of life I am in:

1. Get as much sleep as you can.  This means different things in different stages of parenting, but to me this is huge.  I do everything better when I have more rest.  Get off facebook, put down the pinterest and let your mind & body rest.
2. Fuel your body and mind well.  Try to limit to junk that weighs down your mind and body.
3. Find time for refreshment.  I have long struggled with the guilt of sitting down for a quiet moment and have determined that to wake up early and get in both exercise and quiet time is the way to go for me.  I also value highly our bedtime routine and the chance to have a few quiet moments at the end of the day.  Create, write, photograph, pray, find something that fills your insides and make the time to do it.
4. Move your body.  Good things happen when you move your body - get a dvd from the library, challenge your child to run up and down the hallway with you, enter a race to get motivated.
5. Build your support team.  Different people from different walks of life will make up your support team.  You need someone who can listen when you have a bad day, someone who can physically help you with your child raising, someone you can share your wisdom with, someone you can let loose with.  Maybe you need someone to clean your house, walk your dog, mow your lawn.  Remember you need to be a friend to make a friend, but no friendship should be all one sided.
6. Finally, you need to figure out how to be thankful & grateful.  Our world begs us to be unhappy with what we have, what we do, and who we are.  Buck the system, find ways to be content with your world.  Find ways to show others you are thankful for their help.  Look at the intentions behind the actions of those around you, especially your children.

These are six things that make a difference in my day to day parenting.  Your list of six might be different.  The important thing is to realize that this time, these little ones, are a gift for this season.  A wonderful, sticky, loud gift.  Enjoy the journey.

What choices do you make to be a better parent?  What are your thankful for in your parenting journey?

Operation Christmas Child - Family Project

As a family we have been trying to focus on giving to others lately (and trying to avoid "consuming" so much ourselves!)  One way we decided to do this pre-Christmas time was to make some Operation Christmas Child boxes with our MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group.

During allowance time the kids got to choose how much they wanted to donate towards making an Operation Christmas Child box and then we (mom & dad) matched their funds - a lesson in doubling your money.

6 year old donating $6

My almost 3 year old "counting" out her $, she ended up donating $3

My compassionate 8 year old donating $10 (I had told them this was the highest amount I would match!)

At the Dollar Tree

Once we had our money set - their funds plus the doubling left us with $40, we set out to the Dollar Tree to buy goods for two boxes, we decided to let the boys shop for a boy box (for a boy ages 5-9) and the girls shop for a girl box (for a girl age 5-9).  Each "team" of kiddos got to choose 18 items for their box - they choose to work together on some items too - for example one team purchased a pack of toothbrushes and the other team purchased a pack of soap.

The boy box pile

Once we were home we separated out all of the goodies to pack in the boxes.  We decided to remove all the packaging that we could so that our boxes would fit more items into them.

Packed up boy box

Girl box goodies, getting ready to pack it up!

Packed up girl box

Filling out our "paperwork"

On Operation Christmas Child's webpage you can print out an "All About Me" form designed to be filled out by your child and sent with your box - you can choose to share as much or as little info as you'd like, including an address - we might even get a letter back!

Here is the link for the All About Me form - you can download it as a PDF:
http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/Graphic_Resources/

More paperwork

Complete Girl Box

 We decided to also put a family picture in our boxes - so glad I printed out plenty last time I ordered :)

Complete Boy Box

Final touches on the envelope that the "All About Me" papers went into - unsealed!

                                     

Something new to me this year was the "track your box" option on the OCC website.  We were able to make our shipping donation for each box (they recommend $7 per box) and then printed off a label to put on each box, these labels also include the boy / girl option and ages to check off (so that they know who your box is designed for!), and now we will be able to find out where our boxes end up!

Track you box link:

https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/followyourbox/

It was a fun project and interesting to shop with the kids - for our kids it is important to talk about 3 things before we get into a project like this:

1. Why we are doing this (some kids don't get ANY Christmas gifts, while we have PLENTY of everything)
2. When we go shopping we will NOT be spending any money on ourselves (I have found that as long as I remember to talk about this ahead of time it really cuts down on the whining about wanting this toy and that toy - not all the whining, but most of it!)
3. And finally to have fun imagining what you would like to receive if you were a boy or girl living in poverty.  Giving with joy can be tough for kids, but a little perspective setting can go a long way.

What about you - do you have a project you like to do with your family for others during this season?

Have you packed a box for OCC?  What did you include?

Summer Gardening with Kids

I was lucky enough to grow up in a small house that had a nice size fenced in yard.  Within that yard we played, ran, and grew a garden.  I have very pleasant memories of planting, tending, and harvesting our own foods most summers.  Okay, so weeding wasn't my favorite, but overall it is a memory so strong that I knew I wanted to do this someday with my own children.  But how?

As our babies kept coming some years I planted small gardens and usually was too tired to keep them up so that they would produce the best they could.  One year in talking with my friend Mindy, she mentioned that each of her children had their own plot to tend and be responsible for.  I immediately filed this away in my brain for use when the time was right....fast forward to 2012 - this was the year!

We explored all the options for creating the boxes, building, buying, etc.  With a husband who coaches track and field in the spring I knew whatever option we went with I would be the one who implemented it.  So, I choose boxes that Sam's club was offering.


My two oldest weeding their boxes

As a family, we dug up the ground, added in compost, and tilled it all up (in a slight drizzle - wish I had pictures of that!).  Then, put in our boxes.  A trip to Walmart and each child was given the choice of 3 things to plant in their box.  It was so fun to see them process and ponder what they wanted to plant!  Eventually they all made their choices and we went home and planted and waited.

One of my 2 year old's choices - Dragon Tongue Green Beans

Each week they are responsible to weed, help me water, and harvest their garden bounty!


My 2 year old and one of her "ccini's"

The bounty!

What do you think tasks like gardening teach kids?

Is there something like this that you are excited to do with your kids and you are just waiting for the "season" of life to be right to do it?

Childhood Joy

"True joy is that which gives us more energy
and makes us feel more alive."

Robert Puryear

              

What an amazing treasure it is to get to experience things through the eyes of our children.  This photo does not fully capture the joy my 6 year old was experiencing during the rush of waves from Lake Superior, but it brings her giddy giggle to mind for me.

Children are so exhausting in so many ways that I feel it is so important to truly tuck into our minds and hearts these beautiful moments.  They offer a balance to all the "work" of parenting. 

Pure Joy.

When have you really enjoyed watching your child experience something new?

How did it make you feel?

Kids and Money

8 year old money management

There has been a lot of talk in the media about many specific areas of parenting lately.  I think possibly the two most popular areas of talk center around child obesity and raising a financially savvy child.  In our home we have always striven to eat healthy and exercise, but only this year did we implement the next step of raising financially literate kiddos.

Here is how we set it up to work in our home ~

We started with two main thoughts:

• Kids cannot learn to manage money without having some & some guidance about what to do with it.
• Regular chores / jobs will not be paid for (they are part of being a family member), but everyone gets a set amount each week and has the opportunity to earn more if they would like to.  (for more about set jobs see my earlier post - http://parentinginlittlefalls.blogspot.com/2012/04/managing-small-home-and-large-family.html)

After we had our purpose set, we set the wheels in motion - each kid got a "bank" - for our family we chose to do wooden boxes from the craft store and have each kid paint their own (see above photo).  Then each kid received three envelopes - one for money to give, one for money to spend, and one for money to save for bigger items.  There are so many great ideas out there on how to design kid friendly banks - check out Pinterest for more inspiration!

Here is specifically how this worked out this past year for my now 8 year old -

Nintendo 3DS savings envelope

First he created his three envelopes - money to give, money to spend, and he chose to begin saving up for a Nintendo 3DS.  He set his goal and made check boxes to record his progress each week.

Every Friday night (or Saturday depending on the week) (or sometimes it takes an extra week - I just hang on to our sheets for any unpaid weeks and keep them until the next time we do "payouts") is our family night -

Our Weekly To - Do Chart

Each child, including the 8 year old, has opportunity to earn more money by doing more jobs -

Our 8 Year Old, 6 Year Old, 4 Year Old, and 2 Year Old's allowances.
The top part shows how much they get every week and the bottom are the optional jobs & money.

At the end of each week we sit down as a family and look at how much each child gets for their bank and help them think through which envelope to put it in.  It was so fascinating to watch my 8 Year Old process whether to "spend" his money right away or keep on saving up for the Nintendo 3DS.

After many months of saving and a big help from birthday money, he had quite a bit saved up.  Now he did his research...he found that he could indeed buy the Nintendo 3DS, but would be unable to afford any games right away.  He thought about that while we looked at the other options and ended up being the happy owner of a Nintendo DSi and two games!

Proud Nintendo DSi owner!

I am very proud of him for sticking with his large goal.  Our 6 year old set a goal of saving up for a puppy from the local toy store and met it, and our 4 year old has been able to buy some smaller things and has had to pay for some things he has destroyed, he is still working towards his larger goal of a Captain America shield.  Overall, we have liked the blend of intentionally giving them money with the express purpose being to learn how to manage money and also giving them the chance to earn more.

There are many different parenting philosophies about money and how to teach kids about it, this is simply ours for now.  Yours may look very different and that is okay too!

Who taught you about Money?  What do you wish you had learned earlier?

How are you teaching your children healthy money habits now?  Why do they matter?