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| Me 13 months pregnant with baby #3 (2008) Our beautiful crib in the background! |
"The only constant is change"~ Heraclitus a 500BC, Greek philosopher
I am reminded of this fact over and over in parenting. Just when it seems I have "mastered" one aspect (or at least begun to maybe understand it a little) of parenting it seems that my children move forward in their development.
Yesterday was momentous in our house - this week with school ending it seems every day has been momentous - but yesterday we disassembled our crib. Our wonderful bundle of wood that held and protected each of my babies through their earliest days and nights. It has been a fixture in our home for 8 years.
It was a poignant reminder to me about how each stage of parenting seems overwhelming at the time you are going through it. New babies are a LOT of work, toddlers are an emotional roller coaster, preschoolers long for independence, and so forth. However, once you are past each stage there are days when you miss it - not the exhausting parts of the stage, but the perks that went with it - newborns snuggle, babies are loving, toddlers explore, preschoolers discover.
"This too shall pass" ~ this is probably the quote that runs through my brain the most often when I am feeling overwhelmed as a parent. But here is the secret - the pleasant and unpleasant stages will pass. My challenge to you today is to not let the joyful parts of each stage get lost in the sleepless nights and endless days.
What part of the parenting stage that you are in seems overwhelming right now?
What part of the parenting stage that you are in are you loving right now?
I can say that our 20 yr old is the most challenging at this point in time. He's trying to find his independance, yet he continues to want to hold on... NOT an easy thing. The other two....easy kids. They listen. I don't have to explain all my decisions to them....they just go with the flow~ always have. I can say that the "girl thing" is harder than the boys...she is much more emotional....easier to cry when something doesn't go her way. Dad usually brings this out in her. His patience level isn't quite as tollerant as mine is. He's learning though....we talk about it a lot, and he is getting better. He likes to OVER explain why she can't do something rather than just say "no, we aren't going to do this right now, find something else to do" ...LOL...he likes to give at least ten reasons as to why it shouldn't be done. Which in turn results in the meltdown. But I think we often repeat our parents style of parenting at times. My father in law was a lecturer. (social worker by trade) But I often hear stories from my husband and his siblings about how "dad used to come into our room and talk to us for at least an hour when we did something wrong...." and about how "it drove us nuts!" So, he does come by it honestly....but he is getting better about giving a simple no and letting them problem solve to figure out how to handle what they should be doing.
ReplyDeleteI think giving your kids a good foundation of what expectations you have, as far as behavior and attitude in your home go, at a younger age, WILL set the stage for when they are older. It will make a difference in how they behave as they grow into each stage....preteen, teenager, and so forth. Being involved with them, and their daily activities makes a huge difference in how parenting goes too. You have to be an example for your child, all the time! Be there with them, offer up examples of how to handle a situation when problems arrise at school. But letting go enough to let them figure out what to do in the end.
Parenting is hard. There is NO doubt about that! I always love watching my kids grow and change; Over come fears, make good decisions and be a good example of Christ to others. I feel like I am doing something right when I see it. For me, parenting the two younger ones has been less challenging as the years move on. I like to think I have set a good example and that they are becoming the people I (and God) want them to be. TIME will tell~
Good post! Always a good reminder of parenting styles and the challenges we face~
Jennifer
Great insights and advice girl! I like how you talk about settting the foundation when they are little and knowing that nothing is foolproof, but all the things you listed and talked about sure tip the odds in a parent's favor - being involved on a daily basis especially! Thanks Jennifer -
DeleteCongrats on the big change! I've never seen your house without the crib, I bet it's still strange walking into that room without it there - and will be for a while.
ReplyDeleteThis stage of parenting two toddlers is crazy, emotional and exhausting - but it's also full of giggles, eye popping discoveries and budding personalities.
Way to pinpoint the duality of toddlers! What a crazy stage in life it is - I can't imagine it times two!
DeleteThanks!