Celebrations!

Birthday 2010 - 4 Years Old

Today is a day of celebration at our house, it is a birthday day for our oldest daughter.  Today she turns six years old.  Whenever we have a birthday celebration it always causes me to pause and think - What did I like about my birthdays growing up?  What sticks with me over the years?  What are traditions I would like the kids to get used to enjoying every year?

We are incredibly blessed to have many of our family members close and are able to celebrate with them as well as family friends that have a connection almost like cousins to our children.  Here are the traditions we have begun with our children.  Many of them have already morphed and changed over these 8 years of parenting and I suspect they will morph and change more to come.  Many have come from hearing what our friend's do with their children on birthdays as well.  So if we got one of these ideas from you - thank you!

Beka's Family Birthday Traditions:

• Birthday Child gets to choose supper both on their birthday day and for their family birthday party
• Birthday Child eats with a red "You are Special" plate
• At suppertime Birthday Child is given compliments by everyone else at the table, using prompts like "I like how you...."  and "You are special because...."
• When our kiddos are seven they have their first "friend-only" party.  Before that it is a family affair.  Family friends are invited as whole units.
• The Birthday Child gets to choose cake and frosting flavors and decorations that mom can make.  Or cupcakes, cupcake cones, etc.  The most creative request I have taken on was to have a brownie birthday cake with blueberry frosting.  It was really quite yummy!

Those are the biggest pieces of how we celebrate.  We have tried to be thoughtful with not overdoing things for ourselves, our budget, and our children.

What are your birthday traditions with your children?
What birthday celebrations left an impact on you as a child?
If your child is young yet, what traditions do you look forward to starting?

Love Letters

As we enter into having more kids in school and less in diapers new challenges arise all of the time.  Parenting is like that isn't it?  Just when you feel like you have a good understanding of the "rules" the whole games changes.

My oldest is now in 2nd grade and recently came home with a letter in his backpack.  It had hearts on it.  It had words on it.  The words said "I love you Evan.  You Ker for me."  Immediately I began thinking about how to handle this situation.  He obviously had a little gal at school who was sweet on him.  I wondered how he handled it when she handed him the note.  Was he gracious?  What did he say?

I continued to ponder (all in about a 30 second window of time) how to approach this new parenting territory.  I finally settled on asking him first who it was from.

It was from his sister.  Who is in Kindergarten.  Who handed him the note on the ride home with the neighbors.  My heart immediately melted.  These two children really do enjoy quite a bond, there is less friction between them then any other combination of two in our family.

To me this was a lesson in letting your children explain things without judgement first.  Give them a chance to tell you their view on things and then process.  Let them finish their sentences when you ask for an explanation.  this is a huge pet peeve of mine when parents ask "what did you do?" and then they launch into a tirade before their child can answer.  Give your child the opportunity to learn how to make things right.

Have you ever "counted your chickens before they were hatched" with your child?
What happened?  Were things better or worse then you thought they would be in the end?

Tiger Mom makes me feel lazy...(a book review)

Just finished reading the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and found it to be extremely interesting.  Like couldn't hardly put it down interesting...I am a fairly voracious reader and especially love parenting books (might have something to do with how much I also love my job!) and this was such a fantastically written one - a glimpse into another parenting style from a different culture. 

The author is a self-described "Chinese mother" and compares her style of parenting to what is commonly thought of as "western parenting."  I have noticed several books being released now under this same idea with other cultures...and while initially her style may strike you as fanatic, as her story unfolds it is interesting to find out that the choices she makes in her parenting are ones we are all faced with - she simply views them through a different lens.

We all have to decide, either on purpose or by "secondhand" affect what our children are exposed to and encouraged to do when they are young.  Most often we expose them to things we love - sports, music, reading.  Finding the balance of creating opportunities to explore and learn with pushing too hard OR giving up to easily is such a hard thing to do.

How do you choose which activities to expose your children too?
What age do you feel children should begin an "organized" activity - lessons, sports, etc.?
Are there parenting practices from other cultures that you admire?

Happy

This is the word my 2 year old daughter is repeating over and over again this morning.  And she is...happy...most of the time.  She experiences the normal struggles of power that come with being Two and wanting more control over her life.  But she is happy, you could say she CHOOSES happiness.  I do believe that in some respects we will have this opportunity.  No, we cannot control all that goes on around us, but we can choose how we react to it...we can choose to have a chip on our shoulder, we can choose to retreat from the world, we can choose to be happy (at least some of the time). 

I also believe happiness and contentment are closely related.  This does not mean that we need to accept things as they are all the time...it is good to be working towards bettering yourself, your circumstances, and your living conditions.  But again, I think you can choose contentment amidst these other changing things in your life.  Try repeating it out loud the first few times "I am content."  Let it spill into your parenting, your shopping, your work.

No, life it not so simple that this will suddenly make everything easy, but it is a puzzle piece to life, when it is in the right spot, the picture looks clearer.

How can you choose happiness today despite your circumstances? 
As a parent how does this one choice affect your family?
How do you model contentment to your family?